


My sun is setting

by saltmaster3



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Addictions, Car Accidents, Career Ending Injuries, Depression, Eating Disorder, Fights, Hinata is not actually featured that much, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mean Girls References, POV Iwaizumi Hajime, POV Kageyama Tobio, Slow Build, Substance Abuse, Suicide Attempts, This was a kagehina fic but then iwaoi happened, overdoses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 17:34:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltmaster3/pseuds/saltmaster3
Summary: Kageyama didn't realize how much Hinata meant to him until one day their fight gets out of control.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this and posted it under another title, but then gave up on it, until recently when I've started it up again.

__

Kageyama Tobio wasn't really a fan of music. Or dancing. Or parties in general. Parties involved socializing, and Kageyama was still learning have normal conversations with people about things other than volleyball. He isn't even sure why he is here. He would have preferred to spend the evening practicing his tosses, as he usually spends his evenings. No, Kageyama remembers why he came. It's the end-of-year party for the Karasuno Volleyball Club, and possibly the last day as a team before the third years leave. He looks around the room. Yachi, their manager last year after Shimizu left, was blushing and trying to avoid the advances of Tanaka and Nishinoya, who decided, after Shimizu's departure, that Yachi was an easier conquest anyways. Of course, the Ace and the Libero would never actually harm her, but Kageyama wouldn't be surprised if she got the wrong idea. Kageyama decides that she will be fine, and turns his focus to the other members of the team. Shikhu Hideaki, the first year, possibly the next Libero after Noya moves on is having a conversation with Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi, two of Kageyama's fellow second years. Masahiro Rei, another first year, is being comforted by Ennoshita, the current captain, who is saying that the team won't fall apart when he leaves.

"Hey, Kageyama! You came!" Kageyama turns around to see Hinata Shoyo, the small ginger spiker, possibly next year's ace, calling him over. Standing next to him is Kaori Keitaro, a first year inspired so much by Hinata.

"Dumbass." He mumbles as he makes his way towards them.

"Did you hear?" Kaori is definitely excited about something, but that's common behavior with him and Hinata. "Hinata- senpai says that you're the next captain! You're our captain Kageyama-senpai!"

Kageyama had heard this news before, so he wasn't surprised. Besides, out of all the second years, the only thing close to competition was Tsukishima. Yamaguchi didn't have enough self confidence to put his name forth, and though Hinata was very enthusiastic, he lacked many skills of a good leader.

"I'll be the Ace, and you will be my captain!" Hinata tells him.

"I'm going to be the Ace next!" Announces Kaori. "I'll go 'swish' and 'whoosh', and I'll beat Seijoh, and Nekoma, and Fukurodani, and every powerhouse!"

"Remember, Kaori-chan, that you are not alone. There are six players in volleyball for a reason." Ennoshita has appeared behind the excited first year.

"Of course, Ennoshita-senpai!"

Ennoshita turns to Kageyama. "I'm sure you will have your hands full with this one, Kageyama. Remember to be patient with him, while reminding him of his place."

"I'll deal with him the same way Daichi-san would have." Kageyama declares, referring to their former captain.

Ennoshita looks at the ground for a moment, and nods slowly. "Yes."

It is dark and close to midnight when the party finally seems to come to an end. Everyone is exchanging tearful goodbyes and yawning, with the exception of Hinata and Kaori who are as excited as ever. Looking at Hinata and the first year, Kageyama can't help but feel a bit left out. In his first year, he practiced constantly with Hinata, and they became known for their freakish quicks. In a way, the whole team had become his family, but Hinata might have been the closest he'd ever had to a friend. But then Kaori had showed up, the first year who idolized Hinata so much, and followed him everywhere. Naturally, the dumbass basked in this attention, and tried to teach Kaori everything he knew. Whenever Kageyama wanted to practice a new quick with Hinata, Kaori appeared and demanded to give it a try as well. He didn't have Hinata's natural talent, so he often missed Kageyama's tosses, but Hinata would jump in and try to teach him. Kageyama would never admit this, but he actually misses Hinata's company, as Hinata spends all his time with Kaori these days.

Finally, Kaori has to leave, and Kageyama is left alone with Hinata.

"You still awake?" He asks quietly, but he already knows the answer. "I was wondering if you wanted to practice with me for a bit."

Hinata's expression scrunches up. Kageyama knows that face. Hinata really wants to practice, but he needs to go home.

"Maybe some other time?" Kageyama suggests. "But without Kaori please."

"What's wrong with Kaori?"

"He gets in the way."

Hinata suddenly gets angry. "Is he not essential to winning, you mean?"

Kageyama is angry as well. "Don't bring back something I said once as a first year."

"I thought you'd changed. He only wants to play, you know."

"Find him somewhere else to play. We need to practice."

He thinks he sees tears welling in Hinata's eyes.

"I thought you were different now." He repeats. He locks eyes with Kageyama and then turns away. He starts running.

"Hey, come back dumbass!" Kageyama takes off after him. "Come back Hinata!"

The car came out of nowhere. Or maybe it was Hinata who ran on to the road without looking, his vision blocked by the tears. The driver is drunk, and cannot stop in time. Kageyama watches in horror as there is a blinding light, a sickening crunch, and a scream that he is not sure whether it comes from himself or Hinata. He wonders if he's dreaming; he hopes he is. But he knows that the pain is not going to go away when he wakes up. He runs to the road, and sees the small body sprawled across the road in a pool of blood. The car stops. The driver emerges and Kageyama can smell the alcohol on his breath. He is full of grief and anger, and before he knows it, he has punched the driver square across the jaw. Soon, he hears shouting, and feels arms holding him back as he attempts to take another swing at the man. It's too much, and he collapses onto the road next to Hinata's body, the hot tears rushing down his face. This is all his fault.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama searches for advice from one of the worst possible people.

He is sitting on a black throne, built with thorns that protrude into his body. His heavy crown weighs down his head so much that he feels that his neck might give way at any moment.

"Tobio-chan." He recognizes this voice, and turns around to face Oikawa Tooru, his former rival.

"I see the King has returned." Oikawa taunts. "Ordering his subjects around again. A dictator. You haven't changed at all, have you Tobio-chan?"

Kageyama wants to wipe that mocking smile of his rival's face, but when he tries to move, he finds himself weighed down.

"However, it is any king's duty to protect his subjects, is it not? It is, in the end, them who make the King." Oikawa continued.

"But when a king forgets that, it leads to his undoing. Do you know what happens to kings who forget that?"

Kageyama was seething with anger now.

"They rebel. It's a feeling you have experienced before, King."

Suddenly, he was in middle school again. In a match. He had just achieved the perfect toss. But there was no one there to receive it. He was alone. A leader with no followers. The laughter echoed through his ears. He screamed, trying to shut it out. He still heard it. Then he was back on the court. He's in high school now. He watches his toss, knowing it will score his team a point. But when he turns around, he is alone.

 

He wakes up somewhere unfamiliar. He is sleeping on a white chair in a place that smells of antiseptic. He wonders for a moment where he is, but soon the memories sink in. Someone has put a blanket over him. He looks up to see the familiar face of Sugawara Koushi, Karasuno's former setter.

"Shhh Kageyama." Suga whispers. "Sleep some more." But Kageyama will not succumb to sleep.

"Where's Hinata?" He demands.

"Sleeping."

There's a question that's plaguing him, but he doesn't have the courage to say it out loud.

"He's alive." Suga must have read his mind. "But he's injured."

Kageyama tries to hold back a sob. He won't cry, not here in front of everyone. The whole Karasuno volleyball club is here, staring at him. But he can no longer hold it back as he leans into Suga and lets his tears flow. He feels Suga's arm around him, comforting him. He cries for a while, with more tears than he even knew he had. Finally, when his eyes are swollen and his head is pounding, he looks up.

"I need to see Hinata."

 

Hinata hasn't woken up since the accident, but the nurses are optimistic. They assure Kageyama that Hinata will survive if he fights. But all Kageyama sees is the pale, ghost-like skin stretched over his bones, almost unrecognizable. Even his hair has faded. He reaches forward, takes the cold, bony hand in his own, and gently runs his thumb over the lifeless knuckles. There are a thousand things he wants to say in this moment, but only three words come out of his mouth.

"Fight for me."

 

It's two days later when Kageyama receives the news. Hinata has woken up. He's going to live. Kageyama almost sinks to his knees in joy. But then he realizes that the nurse hasn't finished speaking. His happiness fades as she explains that Hinata's spine was broken in the accident. He will never be able to walk again. Or play volleyball. Kageyama's throat constricts and it takes all his effort not to cry. He knows his life would be over if he could no longer play. It must feel the same for Hinata.

"There must be some cure, some new technology . . ." he murmurs, half to himself. But the more he tries to convince himself, the more hopeless he feels. He tries to put on a courageous face as he walks into Hinata's room, telling himself he must be strong for both of them. Someone has pushed the bed next to the window, and Hinata's head is angled towards the window, staring blankly into space. Kageyama opens his mouth, but he has no idea what to say. He's never been good at conversation, but he wants to say something now.

"Hey Dumbass." He wishes he could say something better, but it gets Hinata's attention. He slowly turns his head towards Kageyama, who can feel the intense stare coming from his big brown eyes. Kageyama has always liked those eyes, even though he'd never admit it.

"I'm sorry." He knows it's not enough; no words can express how he feels right now. Those brown eyes stared back at him, and as Kageyama's icy blue ones met them, he felt a twinge of despair. Gone was the light that always lit up Hinata's eyes. That fierce fire, the determination, his will to fight has all disappeared. Hinata Shoyo no longer wanted to live.

~

“Iwa-chan, make him go away! I swear, he’s making my hair look bad just by looking at it!”

Kageyama fought the urge to facepalm. He had been at a total loss after visiting Hinata with no idea of what to do, so he’d come to the only person he could think of for advice. It probably turned out to be the worst idea in his life.

“Trashykawa, your hair looks bad even when Kageyama’s not here.”

“Why are you so mean about my hair today?”

“I always think your hair is bad.”

“That's not what you said last night when we were-”

Iwaizumi cut him off. “ Tooru, we’re not alone here.”

Kageyama coughed, signalling his presence to his upperclassmen.

“Yes, why  _ aren't _ we alone here? We don't have much time together, before you know it summer will be over and you’ll be going to your far away college and I'll be lonely again with only Koutarou-chan and Tetsu-chan as company. Do you know how much of a third wheel I feel around them?”

“Yes you must be suffering so much.”

“Mean!”

Kageyama cleared his throat again.

“Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san, I need some advice, please.”

Oikawa seemed to like the sound of that. “Does my kouhai have a problem? Have no fear, for his wise and  _ very _ attractive senpai is here to help him.”

“Shut up, Shittykawa. What is it Kageyama?”

_ Well, Oikawa hasn't tried to punch me yet, nor have any embarrassing selfies been taken, so I guess it's going well. Though that might only be because Iwaizumi is here. _ The former Seijoh Ace was a rock for the melodramatic setter.

“I have a . . . problem with Hinata.” He began.

“So you came to us because you knew we were gay? Don't worry, my dear kouhai, I will teach you everything you need to know about winning his heart.” Oikawa asked.

Kageyama blushed furiously. “It's not that! He’ll never play volleyball again and it's all my fault!”

“How?” Iwaizumi prompted.

“We were fighting, and then he ran onto a road and got hit by a car.” The dark-haired setter was now close to tears.

“Aww, Tobio-chan is about to cry. Let me take a picture.”

“Put that phone away Trashykawa!”

“You're no fun Iwa-chan.”

The spiky haired ace turned to Kageyama. “What do you need from us?”

The younger boy fidgeted in his seat. “I just wanted to know, if it was Oikawa in this situation, what would you do?” 

“Hey! I always look both ways before crossing the road.”

“Only when I’m around.”

“Why are you so grumpy today Iwa-chan?”

“God Tooru, maybe it was because of the precious four hours of sleep I lost last night when you got the brilliant idea to take a shower at two in the morning and ran out screaming bloody murder when you  _ thought _ you saw a bug in the shower.”

“Don't tell me you were actually sleeping.”

“Even when I'm wide awake I don't appreciate someone naked and hysterical jumping on me because they saw a bug that turned out to be a carrot stem.”

“It's not like you’ve never seen me naked before.”

“Then you had a panic attack and wouldn't stop crying for the next three hours.”

“I have a delicate soul.”

Kageyama really didn't want to hear any more of their bedroom talk, so he stood up to leave.

“If neither of you have anything useful to say, I’ll leave you to your sex life.”

“You  _ know _ what a sex life is?”

“Kageyama.” Iwaizumi's stern voice cut in. “You have to show him that life is worth living. Whatever way you can.”

“You have feelings for the shrimp!” Oikawa suddenly interjected.

“No I don't!”

“Anyways,” continued Iwaizumi, “If you care about him that much, you have to realize that ultimately, it's his life, not yours.”

“Thank you, Iwaizumi-senpai.” Kageyama bowed. “I hope you get some sleep tonight.” He gave them a small smile.

“Ahhhh! That smile was horrible! Now my poor delicate soul has been scarred for life!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama has an idea of how he could save Hinata.

"I don't have feelings for him!" Kageyama tells himself fiercely. "I just like doing quicks with him, and he's one of my only friends, and I don't want him to die because of me!"

But Oikawa's words resonate in his ears.

"You have feelings for the shrimp, don't you?"

He'd never given much thought to his relationship with Hinata, to be honest. Until now, he'd just seen him as a teammate, and maybe the closest thing Kageyama had ever had to a friend. But the more he thinks about it, the more he wonders whether Oikawa could be right. Maybe he does have feelings for Hinata.

Wham! His serve hits the wall. Excessive volleyball practice is Kageyama's way of dealing with problems. He picks up another ball and is about to serve it when he hears an excited voice.

"Can you teach me how to do that, Kageyama-senpai? Please?" Kaori has somehow managed to be his usual annoying self.

"No." He doesn't want to babysit now, he wants to be alone.

"Can you toss to me then? Please? I've been practicing with Sugawara-senpai."

Even though Suga had graduated last year, he still took the time to visit the team and give them support.

"I want to be alone. Go away."

"But Hinata-senpai would want you to practice!"

"Don't talk to me about Hinata!"

"Just one toss!"

"Fine. If it will make you go away."

Kaori looks like he'd just been handed a free pork cutlet bowl, an expression that frequented Hinata's face. This makes Kageyama even angrier, yet at the same time he feels some reassurance. He hands the ball to the younger player. Kaori's pass is better than he'd expected, which makes it easier to give him a good toss. As he tosses the ball, he doesn't expect it to connect, but when he hears a slam and sees the ball on the other side, his jaw drops in awe. It's almost like the freak quick he and Hinata became known for. Of course, he doesn't have much of Hinata's natural talent, but it's the closest thing he's ever seen to the quick. Maybe it was just luck, though.

"Can you do that again?" He asks.

Kaori shrugs. "Give me another toss!"

This toss doesn't connect, but Kaori begs for another toss. Kageyama relents. He finds himself even more surprised when this one connects as well, even faster than the first one.

"How did you do that?" He demands. The first year blushes.

"I practiced with Sugawara-senpai and Hinata-senpai."

Of course. Hinata had taught him. He is annoyed at first, but then an idea started forming.

"We need to practice this." He declares. Without Hinata's quick, their team would cease to be so successful. But if another player could replace him . . . Kageyama had believed that no other player could do Hinata's quick, but seeing Kaori, he began to wonder if maybe there was some hope.

“Kageyama-senpai?”

“What?”

“Well . . . I was sort of wondering . . . do you think that was the kind of thing the little giant would have done?”

_ The little giant. The player Hinata idolizes. Of course  _ Kaori _ would idolize him too. _

Suddenly, an idea popped into Kageyama's head.

“Kaori-chan, you’re a genius!” He cried, smiling. The young spiker looked terrified. Kageyama rushed out of the gym, leaving his puzzled  _ kouhai _ to clean up.

 

Kageyama doesn't sleep that night. Instead, he spends the night searching through all of his old volleyball magazines. He’s looking for one person. The person who might be able to convince his friend to live.

_ There's gotta be something here - he’s the ace of a team that went to Nationals. _

Kageyama continues searching, yet he still can't find anything. By morning he is almost asleep.

No. He can't go to sleep. He needs to find something. It is six in the morning when he finally thinks of using the internet.

_ Little giant karasuno  _ he types into the search engine. Results immediately appear, but as he skims through them, he realizes that everything about the Little Giant is only from his high school years. He’s definitely not on the National Team, or an important person in the volleyball world. But why?  _ What happened?  _ In that moment, Kageyama knows that he must find this 'Little Giant’. It could be the only way to save Hinata's life.

 

A week later, Kageyama still didn't have any leads on the Little Giant. There are bags under his eyes from many sleepless nights researching the volleyball legend. He wants so badly to give up, to be able to sleep, but Hinata's dead expression appears in his mind and he despises himself for even thinking of it. He’s doing this for his friend, the orange haired spiker, the sun in Kageyama's life. In science class, when he's actually awake, he's been told that everyone will die if the sun goes out, because the sun provides the warmth we need to survive. Kageyama never believed he could even imagine a world without the sun. Little did he know, he’d be living in one.

 

Kageyama woke to a pillow repeatedly smacking his face. 

“What?” he murmured sleepily.

He jumped with surprise when he saw Tsukishima standing in his room, holding a pillow.

“You fell asleep reading volleyball magazines, King?” he muttered. Kageyama furiously shoved him into the hall and slammed the door shut while he put on some new clothes. Finally, he opened the door.

“What’s happening?” he asked again. The middle blocker simply pointed to a car parked outside.

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love mean girls so much, okay?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama finds a lead on the Little Giant

Kageyama’s life was a mess at the moment. And sitting with five people in a car that was only meant for three at most was definitely not helping.

 

“Just let me drive.” Tsukishima insisted to Noya, who was driving.

 

“Hey! I’m your senpai! You’re not even old enough to drive. Besides, I would never condone anything so illegal.”

 

The blond snorted. “And this is completely legal? I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to have one person per seatbelt. And at least I  _ look _ old enough to drive.”

 

Noya turned around. “Why you little-”

 

“Little?”

 

“Noya, keep your eyes on the road.” Ennoshita sighed. Kageyama crossed his fingers as he saw Yamaguchi go green and hoped they would arrive soon.

 

“So why was I even brought here?” he asked, feeling annoyed.

 

“We’re getting a gift for Hinata.” Ennoshita explained. “You knew Hinata best, so we thought you could help us.”

 

Kageyama  _ did _ have a good idea of a gift for Hinata, but of course, he didn’t know where to find it, and besides, it was probably stupid anyways.

 

“He’s coming home in a few days, right?” Yamaguchi commented.

 

“Yeah! Ryu and I are organizing a party from him. We’re also buying party stuff as well!” Noya responded.

 

To be honest, if Kageyama had just broken his spine and was unable to play volleyball, the last thing he’d want was everyone throwing him a party. But Hinata would obviously love it. At least, he  _ would’ve _ loved it.

 

~

 

“Noya! Ennoshita! Yamaguchi! Tsukki! Kageyama!” Tanaka greeted them by excitedly slapping each one on the back and fist bumping Noya. Kageyama normally didn’t understand Tanaka’s enthusiasm, but today he found it annoying. How could he act like that after what had happened to Hinata?

 

“What’s with the face Kageyama?” the wing spiker demanded.

 

Before the setter could respond, Ennoshita put a hand on his shoulder. “Tanaka, Kageyama’s been through a lot lately.”

 

Tanaka’s face softened. “I know. I’m sorry.”

 

“Please don’t get emotional.” Tsukishima interrupted. “Let’s just get a gift and get out of here.”

 

The boys nodded and walked into the department store. 

 

“So what should we get Shoyou then?” asked Noya. “Kageyama?”

 

“Why should I know?”

 

“You know him better than any of us. Come on, just tell us something he likes.”

 

“He likes volleyball.” Tsukishima offered.

 

“But we shouldn’t get him something volleyball themed.” interrupted Yamaguchi. “I mean, wouldn’t that just remind him that he can’t play anymore?”

 

Kageyama agreed. He knew the feeling he got when he was off court, itching to play. Hinata must be feeling like that right now. Except he’d never come back.

 

Their senpai nodded. “We need something to take his mind off volleyball.”

 

Eventually, they settled on a teddy bear half Hinata’s size that sang  _ ‘You are my sunshine’ _ . Kageyama thought it was stupid, but he didn’t have a better idea.

“Okay, time to go home now.” Noya declared, and Kageyama was suddenly reminded of the horrors that awaited him.

 

“Oh, I’ll skip on the ride home.” he informed his teammates. They stared at him.

 

“Kageyama, are you sure?” Ennoshita asked. “It’s getting dark.”

 

“Yeah - um, I have to go somewhere anyways.” He felt like they could sense his lie. “To Hinata's house.” He used the first place that came to mind. “I’m babysitting his sister.”

 

Tanaka’s eyes widened. “I can call my sister if you want. She goes to that rehab centre near his house a lot. I think there’s a hot nurse or something. She’ll be glad to have an excuse to go.”

 

Kageyama decided that no matter how bad Tanaka Saeko’s driving was, it couldn’t be worse than Noya’s driving while being cramped between Tsukki and Yamaguchi.

 

“Sure. That’s great.” he replied.

 

In less than five minutes, a car screeched to a halt next to him. A blonde stuck her head out.

 

“Hey you!” she called. “I’m your ride. Get in.”

 

Kageyama sighed, and got into the passenger’s seat. 

 

That was when he remembered.

 

Despite being a genius at volleyball, Kageyama Tobio did not do so well in academics. He probably would never be able to go to college unless he got a sports recommendation, but for some reason his teachers and family considered academics more important than volleyball. Last year, he had failed his exams, so he’d been forced to take supplementary ones when he was supposed to be attending a training camp in Tokyo. Fortunately, he’d still been able to attend thanks to Tanaka Saeko’s incredibly sketchy driving. He’d been asleep most of the ride, leaving Hinata, who had also failed his exams, to do most of the talking. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but getting into Saeko’s car again, he remembered what they had talked about.

 

The Little Giant.

 

Kageyama had only heard some of their conversation, but he’d gotten the impression that Saeko knew a lot more about the Little Giant than she claimed. He narrowed his eyes.

 

“What do you know about the Little Giant?” he demanded.

 

Saeko froze. “What do you mean?” she asked accusingly, all of her enthusiasm disappearing.

 

Kageyama could also be icy. “I remember the last time I was in this car. You and Hinata talked about him. But you knew more than what you told him. Tell me the whole truth!”

 

The blonde narrowed her eyes.

 

“Stay out of this, Kageyama, if you know what's good for you. There are some things you don't want to know.”

**Author's Note:**

> This part is actually the first fic I ever wrote, (I wrote it on a bus when i was bored)
> 
> Kudos and comments keep me motivated.
> 
> Thanks to my beta starcass_miseryna, please check the doc for this fic and beta my latest chapters.
> 
> Next time: Nightmares (feat. The Great King)


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